Riley

I have been volunteering at a local shelter since early December and every Monday and Tuesday afternoon I walk dogs. Sounds glamorous, I know. The dog walking time is more than just letting these dogs have a bathroom break and exercise. It's also about showing these dogs some love, attention, affection, kindness. And proving that not all humans are mean and that hands are for petting not hitting and harming.

There is a dog currently at the shelter who I will ALWAYS remember, her name is Riley. She is a 5 year old, Australian Shepherd/Blue Heeler mix. She is so incredibly sweet and has a story that I know I will never forget.

Before Matt and I got Hank we went to this same shelter to look for a dog and found Riley. She was only a little over 2 years old then and was so incredibly sweet, shy but sweet. We first went together to meet her and then separately. She was a little wary (which is understandable having been surrendered to a shelter by her people and now surrounded daily with strange humans and dogs) but affectionate and we could tell she loved attention.

I then came back another day with Stanley to see how they were together (which I would recommend anyone who already has a dog do prior to bringing a new puppy/dog home) and lets just say they told us that if we tried to make them live together it would be a challenge. Stanley was a jumpy, playful puppy who enjoyed stealing toys and getting other dogs riled up and running around...which is not behavior cattle dogs/heelers tolerate. So needless to say we felt we had to say no and not bring Riley home.

Flash-forward to just 5 weeks ago. I was at the shelter and walked into the kennel area to start my dog walking shift and saw this dog:

she was new and didn't have any papers hanging on her kennel door yet to let me know who she was, but something inside of me just KNEW it was Riley from 2.5 years ago...but she looked different.

I went home and that night told Matt what I'd seen and that I was going to try to find out more at my next shift. After talking to a staff member (who remembered me from when I had brought Stanley in to meet Riley, I know, small world) she confirmed this was the Riley from way back when.

The story was that she was adopted to a couple shortly after Matt and I said "no". She has been living with them this whole time, but they recently had a baby and Riley (and the owners I think) were nervous, so Riley was surrendered...again. But this time she hadn't been entirely cared for because she was 37lbs over weight! She was a complete blimpy-sausage and waddled when she walked! :(

My heart ached for what had happened after Matt and I had said no and for the heartache she was experiencing yet again (evidence by the fact that she was so scared that 1st week that she had to be practically dragged from her kennel to go outside to bathroom). So, on my volunteer days, I have made a point to walk her and spend extra time with her. Every time I look at her sweet sweet face and sit and just snuggle with her my heart and head go to war. My heart is begging and pleading to take her home and give her a family that will love her forever and get her healthy again. But my head is saying no, we already have 2 adult, male dogs that have their own issues that we're working with and I can't risk any of their safety or well-being. Like I said, it's a war.

Even now, writing this I am getting teary-eyed because she lives in a piece of my heart that I can't seem to ignore. And I know I will live with the guilt that I feel for not saving her that 1st time around. I hope and pray that she finds a true "forever home" and a family who will love her and care for her and help her get healthy (not just physically, but mentally and socially). Until then, I will give her more love and attention than any other dog at the shelter because I at least owe her that much.